The doctor told me that the disorientation that I have been intermittently feeling sometimes was caused by some sort of anxiety problems.
About to deny the diagnosis, I took stock of what I have been doing since the past few months. I have been busy with work, mostly. I traveled with my mother. Photography gained my attention and learning a new hobby was exciting. I tried starting my journal again but only put in a few pages and forgot all about it afterwards. Outwardly, I could've looked quite busy but at the back of my mind, I can hear my brain cells whirring and worrying about the household bills, the loans I took up when my father was hospitalized, my mother's health and advancing age, a relationship that should have moved on but cannot and at the same time, some small part of me also started worrying about my health and age, my status of why am I not married yet when in fact, I chose not to. Add to that, there are still moments that I mourn and miss my father and so on and so forth. I realized then, that yes, am having some anxiety problems. Not very visible because I have an active life which is quite a help but still, they are there.
I know now how it is to start growing old or how it is to start approaching middle age. Not there yet but getting there for me. With that thought, I promise to just seize the moment and be happy with what I have. If I can't, I need to pray more for the strength to just move on. C'est la vie! Seize the moment!