Since I was a kid, she made it a point to prepare breakfast for all of us. If she cannot do it, she would badger my father to do it for her. She went through a lot to keep the family together considering it has not been easy to have an irresponsible and a selfish son, a philandering husband and a stubborn daughter to boot.
She is now in her twilight years and we still have our moments of disagreements but she never failed to prepare breakfast for us which by now include two nieces who would rather wallow in their bed to sleep even until noon rather than prepare their food. Nowadays, she is prone to sudden bouts of self-pity and crankiness that patience sometimes wears on me quite thinly, but she is my mother.
I wish she is having a better life than she has now. Better life means not having to worry about her son’s future and well-being (he seems not to worry about it himself because he would rather sleep late, get stuck facing TV or play pool and cards all day long), not having to pay for her granddaughters’ schooling when they would not even asked her permission nor inform her whenever they have to get out of the house, not having to worry about where her groceries were going because the lazy son would do his groceries in her pantry rather than the supermarket for himself and his girlfriend, not having to wake up early to prepare breakfast for the family, being able to pay for her wants and needs first before considering her son’s and granddaughters’ needs first and generally, just living as a happy retiree at slow and leisurely pace which is quite contrary to what she is doing right now.
What she is doing right now I can never understand. I know there were times she wished she could do it differently but the unconditional love she has for her son dictated her actions and decisions. Her egg nest has been depleted several times due to these and the reminders about it fell on her deaf ears. Relatives have been faulting me for not helping her but I can only help up to what I can agree on her decisions as she would rather empty all the savings for her son and his daughters rather than save for her future so I am doing it for both of us.
My only wish now is that she slows down and takes good care of her health. Stubbornness runs deep in the family and she is one good example of it. I could say that my brother is one big hopeless case but my mother’s unconditional love believes otherwise. I truly pray I am wrong on this one just for her sake.